July 19th, 2010
If you think about it, it will drive you nuts. More people get into trouble by assuming incorrectly what another person is thinking, whether it be about their appearance, their position on a given subject or about their character in general.
The brain is an amazing control room that regulates every aspect of our body, including maintenance of itself. But beyond the around-the-clock internal life support system, the brain processes thoughts associated with innumerable intake sources involving smell, taste, touch, sight and sound. Most of these generate pleasant or unpleasant responses, and many are used to protect the body as well as to nourish it.
A great part of our brain activity, however, is centered on interpreting communication using sight and sound. Reading something causes us to judge it for accuracy or fairness, or even to compare it to our own life experiences. Seeing things, be it real life or reproduced life, evokes similar responses. Touch is added for emphasis, whether it be intimate, directive or hostile.
Basic human nature is that, upon meeting someone, we assess who they are and how we feel about them. This relationship can progress either personally or as additional information is fed to us about the person or group. As we get to know someone, we begin to build an expectation of how that person will react to what we say and do. This is not a bad thing, necessarily, but can eventually cause a relationship to become stale or to deteriorate.
The greatest danger in communication is to presuppose what a person is thinking or how he/she will react. And most of us do it. Communication begins to breakdown when either party is offended about being second-guessed.
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January 3rd, 2010
I can’t keep them.
Wow, that was easy! Now, what do I do with the rest of the article?
It’s true; I can’t keep them. I never could figure out resolutions anyway. If you could keep them, you wouldn’t need them. Your self-discipline would help you to order your life and ensure that you do the right things daily.
Resolutions are really promises that you hope to keep. Promises, however, can be difficult if circumstances change. I promise that I will love and honor you forever. Then she (or he) gets fat, or worse, begins to treat you horribly. They don’t understand you, but, strangely enough, the co-worker does. And he (or she) smells better, or looks better, and you can imagine what life would be like with them.
The Bible puts heavy duty responsibility on promises, especially promises to God. Failing to keep your promise to God brings a curse. Bad things will happen to you. So, just don’t promise, right? But then you might be accused of being apathetic.
A resolution usually involves a life-changing decision, like losing weight, don’t bite your nails, don’t waste so much time playing computer games or watching TV. The list is endless.
New Years resolutions fail for two reasons.
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September 30th, 2009
Everyone works for someone, reports to someone, is controlled by someone or is responsible to someone. It starts at birth. Our parents or guardians have complete authority over what happens to us 24/7; our free will consists of peeing, pooping and crying.
As we grow, more authority figures are added: teachers, bus drivers, policemen, etc.. Then the workplace brings forth supervisors, task leaders, bosses, their bosses, division bosses, corporate bosses and the CEO. Even in small businesses and partnerships someone has to assume the management role.
I used to write that God was at the top of the food chain. Even a hermit in a secluded location in the dense forest, who planted his own garden and burned candles, would still have to answer to God in the final analysis. I credit my upbringing and somewhat skewed Bible teaching as forming my view of “God’s justice,” he being the BIG BOSS.
The Old Testament paints a picture of a people who trembled at the thought that God might be near. They begged their current prophet to speak on their behalf, for fear that the Almighty would smite them dead. In the New Testament, however, Jesus shows us a very different God, one who is loving and caring, yet was not pleased with those that troubled or hurt their family and neighbors around them.
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September 6th, 2009
Doesn’t everyone want to be loved?
I think everyone does, but not everyone realizes it. A lot of people don’t even understand what true love is. Love makes the world go ’round, but hate makes the world go ’round wobbily. Love is the fodder for countless songs of passion, vainly pledging fidelity to the current object of affection.
The Greeks had five different words for love, three of which are normally found in Christian teaching:
Eros (sensual love - root word for erotic)
Philia (friendship — like Philidelphia)
Agape (self-sacrificing love)
Truth be known, Agape is not exclusive to Christianity. In the Greek it could mean being content with a good meal.
The two lesser-known words are
Storge (affection - “I love my children”)
Thelema (desire to achieve - “I’d love to get promoted”)
While the word “love” is used to address each of these concepts, in fact, we need all of them to make the world go ’round. Daily doses of love leave no room for hate. Our prudish position on sexual intimacy refuses to allow that same passion to be the driving force for our exciting, sometimes grueling, journey, yet we freely use the word passionate to describe our various loves for things.
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June 29th, 2009
You’ve seen them. The colorful designs and snappy titles on the inspirational book rack as you move through the store. The offer of blessings and help with every area of your life. Specific formulas on how to manipulate the Kingdom of Heaven to give you maximum benefit.
I like to browse, but I didn’t have the time to check this one out. The title, however, set off some rapid-fire questions in my mind. Why would we put a time restriction on God? The title itself was an imperative, demanding something from the Almighty. (Perhaps adding the word “please” would have given it a touch of humility.) Do we really need a formula for praying?
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June 27th, 2009
I Kings 8:20
The Lord has kept the promise he made.
Promises are firm statements that something will happen as the promiser intended. They’re generally positive in nature because the receiver of the promise needs assurance that things will be okay. Some promises are negative, as in a vow to seek revenge or to inflict harm. While it’s probably a good thing if negative promises aren’t fulfilled, the good promise is binding in that someone is counting on you to keep your word.
The Bible records a number of promise exchanges between God and his people. God always keeps his promises —
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May 12th, 2009
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
James 1:5
Sounds too easy. And too good to be true. But I believe it with all my heart. God has given us everything we need to sustain life — all without us asking for it. Wisdom, on the other hand, requires a genuine relationship with him.
How do you know when you lack wisdom?
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December 14th, 2008
Have you ever considered the absolute necessity of questions? We ask for many reasons — to get instructions, to get clarification on a statement, to make conversation, to conduct an interview, to expose a lie and get at the truth, to confirm intentions — and much more.
Some people don’t ask questions because they think that they will be regarded as stupid, that they should already know the answer. Others will often not ask, if they consider it to be prying or none of their business. Questions are not only a great source of information-gathering, but are required to start a conversation, or to keep it going.
To be sure there are times when silence is golden, when presence is more powerful than words, but asking questions is our way of showing that we care, that we are taking an active role in relating to those around us.
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