Have you ever experienced despair, a feeling of utter hopelessness? Depression is a natural companion to despair, and most of us have felt it one or more times in our lives.  I’ve felt depressed before, but I’m not sure that it reached a point of despair.

Sometimes specific circumstances can trigger depression and despair, but there are other times when it just comes over you, and you don’t know why? Oddly enough, many people, including celebrities, can sink to despair, when they have absolutely no problems with security (job, food, home, etc) or pleasure (clothes, jewelry, cars, etc.).

What does our spirit need to deliver us from this valley of fear and doubt? The Apostle Paul writes that his trust in God’s power and the fact that Jesus lives in his heart keeps him from falling into despair.  (2 Corinthians 4:7)  But plenty of Christians are on anti-depressants, or are receiving counseling for depression.  Where is their victory in Christ?  Why doesn’t joy come in the morning?  (Psalm 30:5)

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It’s all about how you get along with others.  Is your wife getting on your nerves?  Is your husband SO not the same man that you married?  Are the kids out of control?  How about the neighbors?

Unless you’re a hermit, completely cut off from society, then you rarely go through a day without encountering at least one other human being.  You will interact with this person by your words, looks, body language, touch or even silence.  They will receive that communication, process it (often quickly) and generate a response.  Then it’s your turn.  Then theirs.  And so it goes.  Hundreds, if not thousands, of these events will occur in a single day.

Most of the time we will go through them without giving them a second thought.  Sometimes they evoke a feeling of love, joy or sympathy.  At other times tension will prevail due to anger or hurt.  This is the makeup of life.  It’s a major part of what separates us from the animals.  Do you ever give thought to how someone is perceiving you?  Have you ever changed your approach?  If so, why?

The Bible tells us to care for others more than ourselves (Philippians 2:3).  How do you do that?  Aren’t we put here to correct others?  What if we’re not appreciated for what we do?  Jesus was a great example of caring for others, but he was perfect.  Can we be expected to do the same?

With our technological advances in communication we are able to witness even greater misery throughout our world.  We can pipe into our homes graphic images of man’s inhumanity to man.  It makes us feel helpless.  Wouldn’t it be better to not know about it?

Maybe the answer is to not be overwhelmed at the big picture.  Jesus said that we have enough to be concerned about in our immediate environment (Matthew 6:34).  Is that good enough?  Or is it just a start?

I’m sure it’s true what they say about men.  They won’t ask for directions (I’m not lost), and they won’t ask for help (I’ve got this).  Are men worse than women in both categories, or just the directions part?  I think at some point or another we all tend to not want to ask for information, directions or assistance. Is that a pride thing?

It could be that we’re embarrassed to have the other person find out that we don’t know the answer. And we don’t want someone else to appear more skilled at anything than ourselves.  Of course there are those who will constantly ask for help to either get out of doing it themselves, or they’re too lazy to want to learn how to do it.

But isn’t asking for help, in a way, blessing the helper?  Haven’t you ever felt good after helping someone with a problem?  I admit, though, that there a few who have a sort of smugness about them when they realize that you are indebted to them, so to speak.  But that’s no reason to refuse to ask for any help.

Jesus said that the Holy Spirit would help you. (John 14:16)  Now, while He represents the mind of God, I doubt if He gets involved in helping you with that plumbing problem, or show you how to get to Poughkeepsie.  What He will help you with is how to sort out the meaning of life.  His office is open 24/7 for counseling, encouragement, comfort and even warning.

Can the Holy Spirit help you with your pride, which prompts you to shun help?  Have you asked?  Praying out loud is optional.

Born in a manger (feed trough).  Born to a family that lived below poverty level in those days.  How well could you live on a carpenter’s wages?  So, why all of this attention to such a lowly birth?  The exceptionally bright star, that appeared to be moving, certainly would warrant a Fox News Alert.

Since he came from God, I wonder what the baby’s name was before Mary and Joseph called him Jesus. His earthly name meant “the LORD saves.”

Who came to see him?  We know for sure that some shepherds came because angels appeared to them. The only other visitors cited in the Bible are the magi.  They were either ancient priests with magical powers, or they were eastern astrologers.  With deference to most nativity sets, the shepherds seem to be the only ones who showed up at the birthing place.  The wise men, with all of their learning, couldn’t even plan their trip so that they could make it in time.  They were almost two years off on their arrival. How wise is that?

Thirty years later he would be sought by folks in all levels of society, from Roman commanders to tax collectors, with tons of ordinary people in between.  He was even visited by Nicodemus, a member of the Sanhedrin, the Jewish Supreme Court.

Aren’t wise people, along with rich people, just self-made individuals who seek their own ends?  What kind of people need Jesus?  Do you have to be down-and-out to bring you to your knees before Him?  Is it difficult for a mature adult to bow before a baby at Christmas?

Francis Bacon said, “A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.”

I like bacon.

Many people find that doing things for those who ask is easier than following orders.  There’s something about the fact that when a person commands something (rather than suggesting), it makes them look superior.  But isn’t society always required to have leaders and followers?  Or could we ever realize a Utopian world, where imperative instruction is not necessary?

What about our relationship to God?  It seems that the only way we can really get to know Him is to obey. What does He ask of us?  Well, the ten commandments come to mind.  But they’re so negative — THOU SHALT NOT.  What does he ask us to do that’s positive?  Does he communicate to us outside of the Bible?

Jesus promised the Holy Spirit, who would teach and convict us.  (John 14:26)  So, is that voice in your head the Holy Spirit, or is it just your conscience?  Or are they one and the same?  Do you ever get to think for yourself?  It’s obvious that you have the responsibility to act, no matter who is suggesting, encouraging or commanding.  Do we need to be absolutely sure of the truth before we follow?

It would be great to know what we ought to do, or ought not to do.  But I think what gets us into trouble is when we determine what others ought to do, or not do, and forcefully exhort them in that manner.  Both testaments of the Bible speak freely of righteousness, the act of doing right in the eyes of God.  Can we ever really know what is right?  Many Christian advisors say, “When in doubt, leave it out.”  Is that good advice?

So which is better?  To be the master or the servant?  Jesus, who is the Master, said it is better to be the servant.  The Apostle said, “When I am weak, then I am strong.”  (2 Corinthians 12:10)  Will that work in today’s world?

Nobody wants to be a scaredy-cat, but I believe that everyone is at one time or another.  For some people you can read fear on their faces.  With others you would swear that they weren’t afraid, but their fear is kept inside, building up as stress, the silent killer.

Why do we fear?  Is it because we always anticipate the bad?  That guy might make good on his threat towards me.  Is my husband having an affair?  Will my husband come home in a bad mood and hurt me?  Am I doomed for another heart attack?  So many in my mother’s family died of cancer.  Am I next?  Why won’t my grown children take my advice?  I only want to keep them safe.

The Bible says that we should fear nothing and nobody except God.  Why should we fear God?  Is that just a King James word for worshipful respect?  If so, why don’t we change it?  As it is, it looks like we should be afraid of our creator, who has the “power to throw you into hell.”  (Luke 12:5)  What kind of relationship is that?  Is that what they call a healthy fear?

What about the fact that “perfect love drives out fear?” (I John 4:18)  Shouldn’t that be our focus?  Can love and fear co-exist?  Maybe it would work because love transfers our attention to others, and our pride keeps trying to push our own concerns for ourselves to the front.  Perhaps that tension is necessary for our spiritual growth.

Fear is binding.  It stifles us.  It causes us to react, rather than to act.  We all talk about freedom in Christ, but we live as though we are still in the grip of fear.  Can we dare to be free?  Is the Devil pushing our fear buttons?

Who is in control?

The title is clever.  The tune is catchy.  And it annoys my grandson whenever I sing it repeatedly.  I stop whenever I get the expected response from him, that being, “Ah-h-h-h-h!”

The animal kingdom may have their own language with grunts and growls, but I’m guessing that it doesn’t come close to the human language.  Maybe because we exhibit more emotion and determination. Domesticated animals respond to voice commands because of conditioning and rewards.  We never have a discussion with them regarding their behavior; if so, it would be all one-sided.

My native tongue, English, is replete with innuendos and double-entendres, making if difficult to understand the true intent, let alone try to form a response.  Words are powerful.  Consider the children’s rhyme:

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But words will never hurt me.

Not true.  Words spoken or written can generate a number of feelings inside of us.  I’ll be the first to admit that in my own life I am often affected by words sent my way.  I must check myself quickly in order not to respond in haste.  I also notice how many times I have misunderstood comments.  On many an occasion I find later that they were not directed toward me, were not meant in the way that I took them, or were certainly not worth me being worked up about.

My wife says I’m a ponderer, and she’s right.  When I receive a negative comment or response from someone, I can mull it over for hours, or even days, before I’m willing to let it go.  On the other hand I can receive a kind remark from someone I don’t generally care for, and it’s as if they were never unkind to me.  Someone that I am confident is an untruthful person can so embellish a statement that I am eager and willing to consider that they are being honest with me.  Along with being a ponderer, I seem to be a responder-er.

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If you don’t get everything you want, think of the things that you don’t get that you don’t want. Oscar Wilde

Attitude defines who you are.  For the moment, for awhile or for the rest of your life.  I work in a doctor’s office (administrator), and I have learned that all illnesses or diseases fall into one of two categories.  An acute condition is a temporary flare-up that, when treated, will eventually ease up or go away.  A chronic condition is one that will constantly inflict; the symptoms can be treated, but the illness will be your lifelong companion.

How you and I view life is often impacted by the circumstances we encounter or the people that invade our space.  On a grander scale, our religious training will shape how we deal with life.  God is Almighty, but what would Jesus do?

Attitude is a necessary part of our development.  It can be positive or negative.  It can also be apathetic, but I would throw that into the negative category.  Attitude is important to one who lives alone, as well as for those of us who interact with others through work, church, school or social activities.  It contributes to you accomplishing a goal or making someone miserable.

Attitude is what uniquely makes us human and is the driving force behind our actions through word or deed.  It is far greater than just mindlessly performing a task.  It generates our determination, our love, our anger and our hatred.  The Bible speaks a lot about the range of emotions that God’s created beings go through in their relationship with him, as well as their dealings with one another.

I have become more conscious lately how attitude affects my life.  More importantly, God has been teaching me a lot about my own attitude, even taking me back through the years to see where I had failed and disobeyed, and how my attitude was the culprit.  Many of us don’t realise that we are conveying a negative attitude.  Even what we might consider an obedient, submissive attitude may, in fact, be a resentful or bitter attitude.

Bad attitudes are founded in pride.  Our self defense behavior is often getting us into trouble.  Returning hurt with greater hurt.  Or worse, displaying sarcasm or smugness before we are able to be hurt.

Our attitude sets the pace for how we will face each day.  It must be disciplined, as any other characteristic of life.  My wife likes to say that we choose to have joy.  And she’s right.  But choosing it, then doing it brings the challenge.  And nothing is worth it’s salt unless it is tested.  Anyone who participates in group interaction, be it work or play, will easily attest to the fact that our hackles are armed and ready at the first sign of threatening behavior against our pride.

For many, as they grow older, they become more cynical, pining for the energy, freedom and pain-free days of their youth.  My life is going in the opposite direction.  I’m beginning, albeit slowly, to be more thankful each day for what God has already blessed me with.  I told a friend recently that, for all we can complain about, we need not look far to find someone who has it a lot worse.

I’m also thankful that God loves me enough to check me when my attitude is heading in the wrong direction.  I believe that we were placed on this earth to help others, primarily in being able to develop attitudes, beginning with our own.  One day at a time.