Vain would be the fancy to persuade a man to forget himself.  He cannot if he would.  Sooner will he forget the presence of a raging tooth.  There is no forgetting of ourselves but in the finding of our deeper, our true self — God’s idea of us when he devised us — the Christ in us.  Nothing but that self can displace the false, greedy, whining self, of which, most of us are so fond and proud.  And that self no man can find for himself, seeing of himself he does not even know what to search for.

George MacDonald

The psalmist writes that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.”  We are certainly unique in our appearance, DNA and fingerprints.  We are also unique in how we regard ourselves.  Our life is that precarious balance of who we are and who we want to be.  We learn from our mistakes — or not.  We try to fit in with others by following fashion trends, eating similar foods, enjoying popular entertainment and emulating the characteristics of those we look up to.

All of this is a cat-and-mouse game with self.  Self can be puffed up or brought low.  We preen our self esteem to build our confidence and find acceptance.  Visual and audio materials urge us toward self improvement, bettering ourselves with our own efforts and initiative.  We develop self awareness, focusing on our individuality, to include our strengths and weaknesses.

You begin to see yourself in relation to other selves, seeking to find out what makes you YOU.  On the down side you can have self-abasement, the dark side of true humility, that can include guilt and shame, where your focus shifts to something bad you have done, or something good left undone.  Your self identity is in jeopardy.  Who am I?  Why am I this way?  Why can’t I get better?  What’s the use?

Jesus taught us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.  But he also taught that we are to deny ourselves as we follow him.  What appears as a contradiction is that very balance referred to earlier.  We can’t care for our neighbors if we have so little regard for ourselves.  By the same token, if we are self-absorbed, we are more likely to neglect — or even harm — our neighbors.

The most important aspect of self, however, is the critical, ongoing check-and-balance exercise, as we consciously reflect on how we’re doing.  How we react to anger or hurt directed our way.  How we can be humble without realizing that we’re humble.  Listening for the still, small voice of God, teaching us, admonishing us and molding us to his image.

Like the life-giving balance in the vitamins and minerals we take in daily, we must nourish ourselves properly in order to give ourselves away.  Too much of me would deplete my energy resources and render me unable to serve.  Charging forward without consulting myself is a deception of my very nature and sets me up for disobedience.

The wonderful thing about the silent thinking process in our brain is that we have a secret room where we and our Maker can go to sort things out.  We can take stock of who we are.  Like the football coaches, we can play the reruns and see where to improve the game.  And we can observe the teachings of the Spirit of the Almighty who has given us practical things to ponder, things that will grow us as the children of the living God.