If you think about it, it will drive you nuts.  More people get into trouble by assuming incorrectly what another person is thinking, whether it be about their appearance, their position on a given subject or about their character in general.

The brain is an amazing control room that regulates every aspect of our body, including maintenance of itself.  But beyond the around-the-clock internal life support system, the brain processes thoughts associated with innumerable intake sources involving smell, taste, touch, sight and sound.  Most of these generate pleasant or unpleasant responses, and many are used to protect the body as well as to nourish it.

A great part of our brain activity, however, is centered on interpreting communication using sight and sound.  Reading something causes us to judge it for accuracy or fairness, or even to compare it to our own life experiences.  Seeing things, be it real life or reproduced life, evokes similar responses.  Touch is added for emphasis, whether it be intimate, directive or hostile.

Basic human nature is that, upon meeting someone, we assess who they are and how we feel about them.  This relationship can progress either personally or as additional information is fed to us about the person or group.  As we get to know someone, we begin to build an expectation of how that person will react to what we say and do.  This is not a bad thing, necessarily, but can eventually cause a relationship to become stale or to deteriorate.

The greatest danger in communication is to presuppose what a person is thinking or how he/she will react.  And most of us do it.  Communication begins to breakdown when either party is offended about being second-guessed.

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The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

When President Roosevelt (FDR) spoke these words at his inaugural address, the country was at the bottom of the Great Depression.  He went on to describe fear as the “nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”

We all have fears, some more than others.  Even those who appear to be fearless are, in reality, able to keep their fears in check.  The causes of fear are endless, from ablutophobia (fear of washing or bathing) to zoophobia (fear of animals).  I recently confirmed that I have a touch of claustrophobia when I visited an inmate at the county jail.  Entering into a small, locked room, I spoke with him through a glass and telephone.  Ten minutes into the conversation I got dry mouth and had to pee.  And I still had 50 minutes to go before they would let me out!

The Bible documents a number of instances involving the fear of men, animals and elements.  Jesus said that we should not fear men, but rather “fear him who, after the killing of the body, has power to throw you into hell.”  (Luke 12:5)  My fundamentalist friends assure me that the verse doesn’t mean that we should be afraid of God; we should respect him and recognize his awesome power — a sort of healthy fear of him.

While I recognize God’s omnipotence (the power to do anything he wants), I would rather approach him as my perfect Father, the one whom I can run to, and cling to, the one whom I trust to rout my fears. Oftentimes I get comfort when, faced with a fear, I cry silently to him, “Your will be done.”

I suspect that I will never achieve fearlessness this side of death, but my hope is that I am approaching it, ever so slowly, and will overcome it, even if it be at the other side of death on my continued journey.

Another thing that helps me is the thought that others are facing greater challenges than I, and that when I reach the other side of the fearful event, I wonder why I should have feared it at all.

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Okay, so the Unitarian thing didn’t work out.  It might have been the email I received, inviting me to the Heathen Hoopla, where I was to dress as the god, goddess or demon of my choice and bring something to beat on as I dance around the campfire — in the middle of summer!

When we went the first Sunday, we were asked by the greeters to not judge them too quickly on just one service.  That should have been a clue.  I gave them three services.  So when I suggested to my wife that this may not be right for us, she was greatly relieved because she felt the same.

I was trying to pinpoint what was so uncomfortable about my brief Unitarian Universalist experience. While we were encouraged (in their literature) to share what we believe, we found that no one there was sharing what they believed.  They seemed to almost bend over backward in their political correctness with regard to religious tolerance.

I know what I believe.  God, Jesus, Holy Spirit.  These were being replaced with Mother Earth, heathen hoopla and humanism.  While I applaud their emphasis on human kindness and expressions of love, the concentrated effort to avoid references to God, Jesus and Holy Spirit were uncomfortable.

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