Controlling Anger — Before It Controls You
The Bible has quite a few references to God’s wrath or anger. Here are a few:
Exodus 22:24 - My anger will be aroused, and I will kill you …
Isaiah 13:9 - … the day of the LORD is coming — a cruel day with wrath and fierce anger …
Psalm 90:7 - We are consumed by your anger …
Most of the references are in the Old Testament, which has caused a lot of folks to see two God’s depicted — the OT God with the chip on his shoulder, and the NT God who is all about love. In all fairness, we can glean a lot of God’s love in the Old Testament and only a little of God’s wrath in the New Testament. Many of the qualities that we are to emulate in ourselves can be found in observance of our heavenly Father and his son, Jesus. With deference to the Biblical writers, I’m hard-pressed to recognize anger as one of the positive traits.
What really is anger? The definition given in yourdictionary.com is
noun
- a feeling of displeasure resulting from injury, mistreatment, opposition, etc., and usually showing itself in a desire to fight back at the supposed cause of this feeling
That doesn’t sound like God. He’s above all of that — literally! He can mete out justice without getting all hopping mad about it. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Jesus came to set the record straight on what God’s love is all about and how we are to promote it. But first we must address our own stressful moments when our buttons are pushed and our tongues are unleashed, often escalating into action.
The article on the American Psychological Association website (see link above) outlines some very enlightening observations on why we get angry, when it can be healthy and how we can control it. But as a Christian I’m not sure that I can agree on all of the points.
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion.
I’ll give you common, but not normal, and certainly not healthy. God has called us to be peacemakers, even to be a peace within ourselves, under all circumstances. Granted, it’s easier said than done. I’ve had my share of angry moments. I like to call it just “frustration,” but God knows better.
People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming.
Expressing is supposed to be good because it’s the opposite of keeping it in (suppressing). But calming is by far the better way and dispels the anger. Expressing is more assertive than kicking the dog (or the couch) or throwing a punch; it’s being honest about your feelings in a non-aggressive manner.
People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance.
Like all other sins anger is rooted in pride. It’s all about ME. This is the most learned behavior in developing children. Even our TV and radio ads encourage us to get what we deserve: “I want it all. I want it now.”
Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings.
I believe that focusing on what God would have you do in the situation helps in redirecting your thoughts to a positive response rather than stewing or plotting revenge. It helps to realize that God loves that person as much as you, and that you don’t know what kind of turmoil may be going on inside of him or her. Concentrating on constructive ways to resolve the conflict, or simply walking away from it, can often be the best approach.
Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational.
Expressed anger can certainly be a form of positioning, a release of adrenaline (fight or flight), and I will yield that it can be useful in threatening or traumatic situations. But most anger is simply the outpouring of a bad attitude. Built up anger can result in hurtful behavior, and suppressed anger is downright dangerous.
Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can’t change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you.
Amen. That’s exactly what Jesus taught us. Life happens. We can, and do, fail in taming our tongues and controlling our tempers. But the neat thing about God’s love is that his forgiveness is overflowing. We will always get more opportunities to do better, to reconcile and to care.
Your children and matters of faith.
Now that both of my parents are no longer living, I can honestly report that I actually heard each of them use the phrase in the title of this article. I remember wondering what they meant. Was it OK for them to smoke, drink, or swear, but not me because I was a child? Was it not OK for them either, but they realized that they were weak and wanted to prevent me from going down the same path? I regret not asking them after I had become an adult, but I figure I’ll still have a chance someday, when the three of us go through some soul-baring and truth-sharing.
Pastor Craig Harris writes an interesting article (see link above) about various ways to share your faith with your children. He points out astutely that children are likely to measure your words by your actions. You don’t have to “force your faith” on them. They will try to emulate you — even if you’re wrong.
However, a weak faith can be even more dangerous. He compares the flu vaccine, which is actually a weak dose of the virus in order to inoculate you and build your defense system, to a weak dose of what you live in your faith, causing your children to build up spiritual antibodies against that same faith.
Over the past few years I have begun to realize some of my mistakes in raising my children (now grown) in matters of faith. I knew the rule book, sang the songs, taught the classes and preached the sermons. And yet it took me many years to learn that Jesus didn’t want me to follow rules, but to follow him. Daily obedience to him would be sufficient for my growth.
While we have them in our care, children need a safe environment. Negative outside influences must be fiercely guarded from affecting the proper development of wholesome behavior. Children need to be free to question. They can handle the occasional “I don’t know, but let’s find out the answer together.” They need to know that we’re not perfect, but that we’re not satisfied with remaining imperfect.
We have a tendency to want to separate faith teachings from other childhood experiences. It’s all part of the same package. If our walk demonstrates our talk, the learning flows more easily and rapidly, creating a solid foundation. Some children can process adult concepts earlier than others, and if we are truly involved in their daily lives, we’ll know that.
I’m more observant these days as to how various children behave. And I don’t have to look very far to see where the pattern is learned. The difficulty is knowing a way to convince the parents that the path for development is strewn with many obstacles for harm, much of which is their own doing.
God has set a great task before us — moms, dads, uncles, aunts, grandparents, and teachers. It’s never too late to change yourself, and begin to turn that precious young life around. The rewards are immediate and priceless.
Bible guides some in fitness routines.
It’s no secret that many in our Western society have not only abused their bodies with drugs and alcohol, but have also put their health at risk with cheeseburgers and eclairs. Guilty, Your Honor. With bad eating habits, that is. And probably not enough exercise. But enough about me. More than a few churches, in their quest to jam their already-packed schedules, have added workouts-for-Jesus to their fare.
”We need to take care of God’s temple, which is us,” said Kim Melchor, the facilitator of the First Place program at Taylor Road Baptist Church in Montgomery. “God is the potter. He made our bodies, we don’t own them, and we need to serve God as long as possible on this earth. Making positive, healthy choices will be a glorification to Him
Say what? Okay, first let’s take a look at this temple thing. There are three specific references in the New Testament to our bodies being temples. I Corinthians 3:16 refers to the indwelling Holy Spirit. I think he cares less about living in a fat body than sharing a corrupted heart (values). I Corinthians 6:19 talks about uniting your body with a prositute. And II Corinthians 6:16 warns us not to get too close to those who don’t share in our spiritual walk. None of these address nutrition or a proper weight training program. Next comes the criticism of the traditional church dinners.
People are realizing that in the long term, that’s only hurting them — that food can be an issue that can keep them from growing closer to Christ,” Melchor said. “Putting food, exercise and Christ in the proper order, we can be healthier and be there for God, our church, our families and our communities.
Who said that we have to “be there for God?” We’re not trying out for God’s soccer team. And why does Christ come in third after food and exercise? My personal theory (although it’s not working on me so well yet) is that if we draw closer to Christ by obeying his commands (the greatest which is love), then unhealthy food desires (among other things) will begin to fall in line, and our metabolism will kick in as we energetically seek to live our lives daily in his service.
The Fit 4 Jesus gym in Montgomery, Alabama
plays Christian and gospel music, displays inspirational messages to read, offers weekend spiritual programs, temple building, prayer partners and daily devotionals and Bible.
Did anyone notice anything about exercise in that spectacular lineup — unless it was the temple building part? When are we going to learn that hanging around and giving positive strokes to each other is not what Jesus had in mind? He said that we are to be the salt of the earth. We’re to show that we get it. We can show love. We can be peacemakers. We can have compassion, lend a listening ear. It seems that this would have a greater effect in an everyday, sweaty, secular gym.
Move over tasty church bake sales because
These days, churches are more likely to host fundraisers such as Vaughn Forest Church’s Spring to Life Fitness challenge 5K footrace and 1-mile fun run. The annual effort has local runners and walkers hitting the road to raise thousands of dollars for TREC Ministries, a nonprofit mission organization based in Montgomery that is currently building a school and dorm for an orphanage in India.
Here’s a thought. Let the wealthier people in India build that orphanage. I have to talk to one of their tech reps whenever my computer crashes, so there must be some money over there somewhere. We all have enough evil, hurt and need to deal with right where we live. And wouldn’t it be nice if we did things for folks, even in other countries, without having to tell everybody about it?
Eat less, exercise more. I get it. But let’s give faith-based fitness programs a rest and get back to that old time religion, when we sang the hymns, heard inspiring sermons and gathered ’round the fellowship tables. It’s good enough for me.
Steven Curtis Chapman’s Daughter Dies In Accident
I read with sadness the tragic story of the contemporary Christian singer’s loss. Five year old Maria Sue Chapman was playing near the family’s SUV, when the vehicle ran over her. Words can’t even begin to express the feelings the family must be experiencing at this moment. Chapman’s on-stage message of hope in Christ will be needed more than ever in this time of sorrow. The Savior he sings about will bring the comfort necessary for healing for the family, as well as the hope for joy in the morning when they will reunite with their precious daughter and sister.
My heart goes out especially to the teenage brother who was behind the wheel. From what I have read of this close-knit family, I’m sure that he will be smothered with love and forgiveness. Yet the guilt and memories will not easily fade away. Only his heavenly Father can bring the necessary recovery to his troubled soul.
I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose a child of any age. My prayers go out to the Chapman’s. I’m reminded that Jesus spoke of God’s special care for all of his creation — especially for his beloved humans. In Matthew 10:29, 31 he said,
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
Maria’s death is brought to our attention because of her father’s popularity in the realm of Christian entertainment. Many children die in the world every day. Grieving families struggle to find answers to why such precious lives are cut short. Some believe that God created everything, then sat back to watch how it would develop. Others believe that he intervenes intermittently, leaving us to think that he only cares for certain people or situations.
I personally feel that he cares for all of the children who are prevented from living out their lives here on this earth. Families who lose loved ones don’t want well-meaning reasons on why the tragedy occurred. Their immediate need is to be surrounded by love, comforted in their grief.
However, over time, I think that we can be encouraged by four things associated with death. First, the child is only dead to us who are left. We feel the loss and emptiness; she feels the loving arms of God. Secondly, we have the sure hope in Christ that we will see her again. I am nearly 61, and I don’t know how my life went by so fast. The Bible says that our lives are “a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” In the light of eternity we have a lot of life yet to live. Next, I firmly believe that God has a purpose in all things. This is where we must be careful not to second-guess such purposes. We need to patiently wait for his will to be made known. Finally, we can be encouraged by the fact that God is at work wiping away tears and painful memories. His greatest work is reconciliation, where hurt is swallowed up in healing, in loving and in caring.
Condolences are in order for Steven Curtis Chapman and his family. The journey goes on. God’s love remains.
A couple of weeks ago several Christian leaders put forth a document that attempts to right the wrongs of Christians using their faith for political ends. The link above is a summary of the much larger 7,400 word document that can be found at EvangelicalManifesto.com. I’m not sure that I quite follow it because it seems to prohibit mixing religion and politics, yet encourages Christians to get involved in politics.
Of course I take immediate issue with some of their beliefs in their opening Statement of Faith. A line item veto would be helpful here.
2. The death of Jesus on the cross, in which he took the penalty for our sins and reconciled us to God
Why in God’s name would God punish an innocent being for our foolishness and failure? Why doesn’t he just make us do right, like we do with our children? He can do it perfectly, with equal portions of love and discipline. Wouldn’t it make more sense that we learn how to be reconciled with one another here, rather than having all of our ugliness wiped out with God’s one-time stamp of REDEEMED?
Sadly, we repeatedly fail to live up to our high calling, and all too often illustrate our own doctrine of sin. The full list of our failures is no secret to God or to many who watch us.
Doesn’t this prove that the fundamental gospel is failing to truly change lives? Many who claim to know Christ continue to live like the Devil. The only reason Jesus asked us to follow him is so that we would know what his father is really like, the ultimate goal being that we would follow God, emerging as his pure, perfect children.
Called to an allegiance higher than party, ideology, economic system, and nationality, we Evangelicals see it our duty to engage with politics, but our equal duty never to be completely equated with any party, partisan ideology, or nationality.
Sounds like doublespeak to me. I have no problem with a Christian political figure advocating the teachings of Jesus on the daily behavior of God’s children, but I have a serious concern with Christian lobbyists or anyone who attempts to micro-manage the Bible into law. For instance, why should I, as a Christian, be thrown into jail because I don’t want to go to church? It could happen if religion took complete control of Congress.
we have no desire to coerce anyone or to impose beliefs and behavior on anyone. We believe in persuasion.
Yeah, that’s what scares me. They follow the Golden Rule: them that has the gold makes the rules. Christians in this country have a lot of money — Protestants as well as Catholics. That can buy a great deal of persuasion.
We call on all citizens of goodwill and believers of all faiths and none to join us in working for a civil public square and the restoration of a tough-minded civility that is in the interests of all.
Just the term “manifesto” makes me think of The Communist Manifesto from 1848. They had a plan to level the playing field. It failed. Thank God that he (God) has a plan. And I don’t believe that the Evangelicals are thinking what he is thinking. I hope.
I know that Christian music isn’t just Fanny Crosby, Charles Wesley and the Gaithers, but how far towards entertainment can it go before it loses its original purpose? And what is its orginal purpose? Win souls? Praise God? Make money (tithes, tickets)?
Based on a song title from its upcoming CD release, the Chicago-based Christian band pulls out all the stops with its “Cross the Line” Tour, which comes Wednesday to West Odessa.
As idioms go cross the line is a phrase that generally means move from acceptable to unacceptable. What does Superchick mean by it?
For us, it’s to encourage people to know that they have a destiny and a purpose for their life,” he said. “They can truly change the world.”
I don’t think that God wants us to change the world. He wants us to change ourselves. The end result will be that others in the world will be affected (to the good) by our change.
“We feel like God gives everyone a hand to play, and it’s how you play it that counts,” he said. “I feel like (the songs) are going to empower people to be comfortable in their own skin.”
Amen to the play-your-own-hand part. But I don’t see us being comfortable in our own skins when the soul purpose of perfection is trial by fire, the burning away of that which is not us, so that the true child of God can be revealed.
I just couldn’t believe that they [Whitecross] were Christian - that they sounded so mean and so aggressive, yet their lyrics were positive,” Young said via phone from Portland, Ore. “The music is what grabbed me, but eventually the lyrics changed my heart.”
OK, what’s wrong with this picture? How can you possibly render positive, heart-changing lyrics wrapped in mean and aggressive music? Let me say at this point that I’ve tried listening to the stuff, and making sense of it. Aside from constantly having to ask, “What was that phrase again?” I just couldn’t get past the noise and dissonance to get any meaningful message out of the songs.
Jesus brought a message of peace. Peace brings calm out of chaos. The Apostle Paul said he would be all things to all people, so that he might win some. But I can’t see him energized by head-banging music, no matter what the lyrics.
It’s possible to still be a Christian in today’s society and have a blast with everything you do,” Serrano said. “You should stand out, not because you carry a 50-pound Bible, but stand out by how you live.”
Sorry, not buying it. The focus on “having a blast” is more of the it’s-all-about-me mindset. And how you live is definitely not so that you will stand out. Obedience to the small things in life that immediately surround you (with no thought for tomorrow) will lead to greater things as the Lord deems them necessary. To him who has will be given more.
So there are no such things as Christian entertainers. There are entertainers first and foremost, then some may profess Christ. Let’s call it what it is.
I know. I’m probably not giving it a chance, but my tinnitus won’t tolerate any additional interference. Let the kids have it. It’s all part of the journey.
Religion issue hurting Obama with Indiana cafe patrons.
“Obama has great ideas but his background scares me,” said Chris Leighton, 60, a secretary having lunch at the Chaperral Cafe in Shelbyville, in southeast Indiana. “Everyone talks about him being a Muslim and having ties to terrorism, but how do people really find out?”
Where do these people come from? Don’t they watch the news? Can’t they trust the news? (he-he) Or are they afraid Obama may switch religions after he gets in the White House?
Retired locksmith Leslie Hedman, 61, said he doesn’t like any of the three candidates — Clinton, Obama, or Republican John McCain – because none are committed Christians.
Now that scares me. What is a committed Christian? And would he/she run the country with the iron fist of their brand of Christianity?
“How can you go to a church for 20 years and not heard your minister [Rev. Wright] say something off-color? Either he’s heard it and is lying about it, or he’s lying about going to church as much as he does,” said Demmin. “In which case he’s not the Christian he says he is.”
Amen. Relationships are important. Either you have that affinity with someone, or you don’t. We already know of the Clintons’ shaded past. Now it’s Obama’s turn to walk through the fire.
“A person who doesn’t believe in anything? I don’t want anything to do with him,” said cafe owner and Clinton supporter Shirley Bailey, 70. “He says he won’t take an oath on the Bible, he won’t salute the American flag. That doesn’t sit well with me.”
Hold on. Let’s at least get our facts right. Small town cafes. You gotta love ‘em.
